I don't know what to do in life. I always think about it.
I really don't like school, yet I do. I only like it when it's fun or when it's easy. Other than that I hate everything.
I see myself as a coward most of the time.
I try to find the easy way out and run away from the things I don't feel like doing.
I think I've decided I wanna major in Math?? I'm still not so sure, but after commenting Mark about it; I think the desire I had that made me even think about majoring in Math came back.
The only reason I'm unsure about it is because I think it'll definitely be hard. And my cowardice is the reason for my uncertainty.
But when I think about it, I don't think there's a job I desire so much that will deal with my Math major. So now it brings me to the question as to why I even want to major in Math? How will it help my future? The so called "desire" I mentioned earlier was more of a 'decision in choosing a major' since I have no idea what else to choose!
Another thing. Recently I've honestly been thinking about being a doctor. Just thinking about it. Specifically a surgeon. I'm not too sure why, but I just started thinking about it and had this feeling that I wanted to become one in the future. That thought really rode around in my head.
But of course becoming a doctor is crazy hard! I think about all the books I'd have to read and all the things I'd need to remember. I just don't want to do that. See! Another example of my cowardice. As much as I think about it right now, I just know that I won't choose that line of work. I'm really too undetermined to prepare for all that hard work. But really, I just keep thinking about it! Even though I say this, apparently the thoughts aren't strong enough to make me extremely determined. So I hope the thoughts will fade away soon because it kinda bothers me that I keep thinking about it yet I don't even make myself plan for it.
I've never really mentioned this because I didn't think I'd even consider getting troubled over these thoughts, but as I'm getting closer to starting college, it's starting to hit me.
Now it's the so called "fantasy". I know for sure that I want to learn the Japanese language. Like fluently. And I am determined to do it! For sure. But the whole living in Asia thing is the "fantasy" part. I always think about successfully graduating from college and moving to Japan to live there. But I don't know what to do there after that. How exactly am I gonna live?
Right now, I am looking at this to be my naive imagination and I won't be determined to do it. I want to know where I'm headed in life before I think about that "fantasy". I want to be sure about what I want to be and what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. I hope I can figure these things out soon. Because, the way I am now, it really troubles me just thinking about my future.
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you don't have to fret. there are people in college who take at least two years before they know what they're going to major in. no problem. yeah, maybe it's a setback because it's always better to know what you want to do so you know what classes you need to take.
ReplyDeletedon't be lazy or scared. I honestly think I am so incapable of passing or getting into the nursing school but Im going to try anyway because it's what I really want to do and hey, I just might surprise myself. As long as I dont slack off y'know?
don't let other people influence you. do what you love. you're good at math, it suits you but you dont have to take it if you dont want to. you have alot of options. surgeon may be hard but then that means we can take almost the same classes together! heheheh.
i want to live in korea. i want to learn korean.
it's not bad to fantasize about things like that because we can make it real! just not now, maybe. you could always minor in japanese so that you CAN live in japan easily since you know the language, and then use your major to help you "live". know what I mean?
I just hope you figure out what you want to do. dont be too trouble. youre not alone =)
once you find out then everything else should be easy~
the future is scary, huh.
Haha yes :]
ReplyDeleteI think it's okay for you to comment on my blogs.
If I get an F I'll let you know! Jk.
I know I'm kinda sorta late here butt.. Jennifer made lots and lots of good points. ..and Teah! You're a fureaking GENIUS in math! I know you're going to be modest and tell me you're not but you are. I'm not just saying that because you help me, but that could be another good point. Which leads to the next point, your uber-niceness. With that, I'm sure you can get an army of female dogs and pretty much do whatever and get whatever you want!
Alright I know I'm not sounding very serious but I am. Life is pretty scary at times, but really you learn as you go. Don't worry too much, but at the same time it's good that you are. It shows that you're thinking about your future and everything. Which is more than I can say for myself. I'm still undeclared at the moment and I'm just winging life as I go! On Orientation I was freaking out because I really realized at that moment, I wasn't sure what to do, what classes to take, Man oh mann. I was even the last one there! In the end I just decided to take the general stuff and hopefully work out the rest soon. But I believe in you Teah! You can do it!! Even if this was a long time ago and maybe you're already convinced towards your math major, more power to you!
Haha sorry my rambles :]