My Future...

I don't know what to do in life. I always think about it.
I really don't like school, yet I do. I only like it when it's fun or when it's easy. Other than that I hate everything.
I see myself as a coward most of the time.
I try to find the easy way out and run away from the things I don't feel like doing.

I think I've decided I wanna major in Math?? I'm still not so sure, but after commenting Mark about it; I think the desire I had that made me even think about majoring in Math came back.
The only reason I'm unsure about it is because I think it'll definitely be hard. And my cowardice is the reason for my uncertainty.
But when I think about it, I don't think there's a job I desire so much that will deal with my Math major. So now it brings me to the question as to why I even want to major in Math? How will it help my future? The so called "desire" I mentioned earlier was more of a 'decision in choosing a major' since I have no idea what else to choose!

Another thing. Recently I've honestly been thinking about being a doctor. Just thinking about it. Specifically a surgeon. I'm not too sure why, but I just started thinking about it and had this feeling that I wanted to become one in the future. That thought really rode around in my head.
But of course becoming a doctor is crazy hard! I think about all the books I'd have to read and all the things I'd need to remember. I just don't want to do that. See! Another example of my cowardice. As much as I think about it right now, I just know that I won't choose that line of work. I'm really too undetermined to prepare for all that hard work. But really, I just keep thinking about it! Even though I say this, apparently the thoughts aren't strong enough to make me extremely determined. So I hope the thoughts will fade away soon because it kinda bothers me that I keep thinking about it yet I don't even make myself plan for it.
I've never really mentioned this because I didn't think I'd even consider getting troubled over these thoughts, but as I'm getting closer to starting college, it's starting to hit me.

Now it's the so called "fantasy". I know for sure that I want to learn the Japanese language. Like fluently. And I am determined to do it! For sure. But the whole living in Asia thing is the "fantasy" part. I always think about successfully graduating from college and moving to Japan to live there. But I don't know what to do there after that. How exactly am I gonna live?
Right now, I am looking at this to be my naive imagination and I won't be determined to do it. I want to know where I'm headed in life before I think about that "fantasy". I want to be sure about what I want to be and what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. I hope I can figure these things out soon. Because, the way I am now, it really troubles me just thinking about my future.

A Job.

I need one!
I'm so poor, I swear.

I spent a total of $20 today.
Hmm, now that I typed that down I realized that it's actually not that much, but it is for me.
Thanks Kenny for paying for many things today. You're too nice that I keep feeling bad.

Omg Jenn, look at what you're making me do. Making so much 'social networks' is gonna get me lost one day.
What if we get too into it that it distracts us from school. :o

'V' was talking about that Italian dude again. She said she was rated and given a 2 out of 10. Girl deserves it.
Well, not really. I mean, I guess she can at least get a 5. AT LEAST. But that's only for looks; personality is a whole different rating.

"Bitch, I'd give you a 2, but you can be a 3 if you're with me"

...is what she said about that Italian guy. I don't like her attitude. She's too much. And she's also reallyyy stupid to me. Ahh, I'm so mean. But really, she is stupid. I know it's mean but it's the 'Ugly Truth'

Haha! That movie was funny as hell! XD I loved it.

"I hope that bitch failed her Calculus AP Exam"
Damn, but I just have this feeling that she passed it. I hate her guts! She's one ugly ass model. Wannabe.
I'd call her 'two-faced' but I'm one too so it'd make me a hypocrite. Well, I AM a hypocrite so I'll go ahead and say it...
Two-face.
You know Jenn, I'm sure she thinks she's real smart and that she's smarter than us JUST CAUSE she's in Calculus.

Oh, I live with lots of hate. :DD

I don't know how to do layouts and stuff. I'm suckish at these things.
But since I have so many 'blog' profiles, how do I choose which one I shall blog in? Or should I blog the same thing in all of them? Haha. I hope Kim, Genn and the others get one already.

Man, I have always have this sad feeling in my heart and it's about my laptop... :|
I already prepared myself to lose all the files in it when it gets prepared, but now I just keep thinking about it and it bothers me. I don't actually know for sure if the files will be lost, but I hope that's not the case!