Monday, September 24, 2012
Second thoughts
I hate everything about life right now. I hate you. I hate myself too. I wish I was done.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Monday, December 7, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
homework
Yay, now my audience has increased plus one: Robby!
Although I'm followed by others, I think only Jenn & Robby would actually look here for a bit. Haha. :P
So today, 090509, I slept all day. Woke up at 3pm. I love sleeping & being lazy! I tried to get started on my sociology study guides, but I'm just not into it. I only answered like 3 questions on the chapter 1 sheet. I'll get to it though. I promise. Damn, I didn't even read Chapter 2 yet. :|
Instead, I was in the mood to do Math homework. & I did. I didn't do the homework last time. Not at all. But I did it today. I actually finished almost all of it: everything except the last three cause that's when my brain turned off. I want to do 1.5 too. I feel like it.
Oh man, I've been eating A LOT lately! Like, I guess it's okay if I gain a bit more weight, but wtf! It better not be 15 freaking pounds. That damn freshmen fifteen shit. Haha!
Omg, I'm eating skittles right now & they fell! Crap, some went under the bed. =/
My parents (mom in particular) are killing me. :(
She's making me clean all the cars, inside & out. They're so f*cking messy & they make ME clean their shit. I already cleaned one so I got two more to go. Thank god I don't need to do the 4th one since that's my brother's job. :D
Kay I'm done. :P
the skittles under the bed is still bothering me. i wanna get it, but i feel lazy...
Although I'm followed by others, I think only Jenn & Robby would actually look here for a bit. Haha. :P
So today, 090509, I slept all day. Woke up at 3pm. I love sleeping & being lazy! I tried to get started on my sociology study guides, but I'm just not into it. I only answered like 3 questions on the chapter 1 sheet. I'll get to it though. I promise. Damn, I didn't even read Chapter 2 yet. :|
Instead, I was in the mood to do Math homework. & I did. I didn't do the homework last time. Not at all. But I did it today. I actually finished almost all of it: everything except the last three cause that's when my brain turned off. I want to do 1.5 too. I feel like it.
Oh man, I've been eating A LOT lately! Like, I guess it's okay if I gain a bit more weight, but wtf! It better not be 15 freaking pounds. That damn freshmen fifteen shit. Haha!
Omg, I'm eating skittles right now & they fell! Crap, some went under the bed. =/
My parents (mom in particular) are killing me. :(
She's making me clean all the cars, inside & out. They're so f*cking messy & they make ME clean their shit. I already cleaned one so I got two more to go. Thank god I don't need to do the 4th one since that's my brother's job. :D
Kay I'm done. :P
the skittles under the bed is still bothering me. i wanna get it, but i feel lazy...
Monday, July 27, 2009
My Future...
I don't know what to do in life. I always think about it.
I really don't like school, yet I do. I only like it when it's fun or when it's easy. Other than that I hate everything.
I see myself as a coward most of the time.
I try to find the easy way out and run away from the things I don't feel like doing.
I think I've decided I wanna major in Math?? I'm still not so sure, but after commenting Mark about it; I think the desire I had that made me even think about majoring in Math came back.
The only reason I'm unsure about it is because I think it'll definitely be hard. And my cowardice is the reason for my uncertainty.
But when I think about it, I don't think there's a job I desire so much that will deal with my Math major. So now it brings me to the question as to why I even want to major in Math? How will it help my future? The so called "desire" I mentioned earlier was more of a 'decision in choosing a major' since I have no idea what else to choose!
Another thing. Recently I've honestly been thinking about being a doctor. Just thinking about it. Specifically a surgeon. I'm not too sure why, but I just started thinking about it and had this feeling that I wanted to become one in the future. That thought really rode around in my head.
But of course becoming a doctor is crazy hard! I think about all the books I'd have to read and all the things I'd need to remember. I just don't want to do that. See! Another example of my cowardice. As much as I think about it right now, I just know that I won't choose that line of work. I'm really too undetermined to prepare for all that hard work. But really, I just keep thinking about it! Even though I say this, apparently the thoughts aren't strong enough to make me extremely determined. So I hope the thoughts will fade away soon because it kinda bothers me that I keep thinking about it yet I don't even make myself plan for it.
I've never really mentioned this because I didn't think I'd even consider getting troubled over these thoughts, but as I'm getting closer to starting college, it's starting to hit me.
Now it's the so called "fantasy". I know for sure that I want to learn the Japanese language. Like fluently. And I am determined to do it! For sure. But the whole living in Asia thing is the "fantasy" part. I always think about successfully graduating from college and moving to Japan to live there. But I don't know what to do there after that. How exactly am I gonna live?
Right now, I am looking at this to be my naive imagination and I won't be determined to do it. I want to know where I'm headed in life before I think about that "fantasy". I want to be sure about what I want to be and what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. I hope I can figure these things out soon. Because, the way I am now, it really troubles me just thinking about my future.
I really don't like school, yet I do. I only like it when it's fun or when it's easy. Other than that I hate everything.
I see myself as a coward most of the time.
I try to find the easy way out and run away from the things I don't feel like doing.
I think I've decided I wanna major in Math?? I'm still not so sure, but after commenting Mark about it; I think the desire I had that made me even think about majoring in Math came back.
The only reason I'm unsure about it is because I think it'll definitely be hard. And my cowardice is the reason for my uncertainty.
But when I think about it, I don't think there's a job I desire so much that will deal with my Math major. So now it brings me to the question as to why I even want to major in Math? How will it help my future? The so called "desire" I mentioned earlier was more of a 'decision in choosing a major' since I have no idea what else to choose!
Another thing. Recently I've honestly been thinking about being a doctor. Just thinking about it. Specifically a surgeon. I'm not too sure why, but I just started thinking about it and had this feeling that I wanted to become one in the future. That thought really rode around in my head.
But of course becoming a doctor is crazy hard! I think about all the books I'd have to read and all the things I'd need to remember. I just don't want to do that. See! Another example of my cowardice. As much as I think about it right now, I just know that I won't choose that line of work. I'm really too undetermined to prepare for all that hard work. But really, I just keep thinking about it! Even though I say this, apparently the thoughts aren't strong enough to make me extremely determined. So I hope the thoughts will fade away soon because it kinda bothers me that I keep thinking about it yet I don't even make myself plan for it.
I've never really mentioned this because I didn't think I'd even consider getting troubled over these thoughts, but as I'm getting closer to starting college, it's starting to hit me.
Now it's the so called "fantasy". I know for sure that I want to learn the Japanese language. Like fluently. And I am determined to do it! For sure. But the whole living in Asia thing is the "fantasy" part. I always think about successfully graduating from college and moving to Japan to live there. But I don't know what to do there after that. How exactly am I gonna live?
Right now, I am looking at this to be my naive imagination and I won't be determined to do it. I want to know where I'm headed in life before I think about that "fantasy". I want to be sure about what I want to be and what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. I hope I can figure these things out soon. Because, the way I am now, it really troubles me just thinking about my future.
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